Useless waste of time/space and other thoughts of boredom

I've been think about motivation lately. What is it? How does it effect me and/or do I have any? I consider my self a very hard worker, but do not think I'm motivated.

Death Metal Lyrics #1

Blackened by the blood and shit
My soul is in agony.
My guts rot
and my eyes melt.
The demon sinks its teeth deep into the flesh.
Poison fills the body
and pops the head like a zit.
The aborted raise an army
and eat the holy magots.
Strangled, murdered, beaten, stabed
mauled and torn apart.
Smashed face guts ooze
licked clean by millions of dead whores.
Deafening screams
turn to gurgling of blood and dirt,
turning to zombie rage.
Battalions of the blood thursty
Killing the living
Killing the dead
Seas of cum
and pus
and blood
flood the empty streets.
The dead
eating the dead.
My soul fills their guts
Dead brain pus dessert.

Hearts, CS in the Badlands.

My friend Geri

This is my friend Geri. I met him about two years ago. We don't hang out a lot, but when we do I have a really great time.



I stumbled upon this video of him on youtube. I think it is really funny and presents him very well. Geri and I used to work together at my current employer. He was a bad ass co-worker and always made work fun. My favorite work memory with Geri was when he came in during an art opening, in which he was showing art, and proceeded to get drunk as fuck. What most of us didn't know was that he had to go to a work meeting at his other job. After becoming incoherently drunk, he rode his bike to the meeting. Supposedly, he showed up, couldn't talk and eventually fell out of his chair. Needless to say, he was kicked out of the meeting. Afterward, he returned to my place of work and sat in the corner as sad as a broken up with emo kid. I don't know why I thought this was so funny, but it was. I will remember that night until I die.

Months later, Geri and I attended the first annual Harvest Of Hope Festival in St. Augustine. It was the funnest three days of my life and I'm glad Geri was there.

Nowadays, I see Geri randomly around town and we always high five and have a good laugh about something. He's a great character in my life and I hope he never dies. I love you, Geri, have my butt babies.

Focus

So I've decided what I'm going to do with this blog. I'm going to publish lyrics for death metal songs and recipes and photos of meals I make. I will also write commentary of things that happen in my personal life. Read, enjoy, and criticize.

Hearts, CSITBL

It's 4:20am Feb. 14th, 2010. I'm very sick, but drinking whiskey. My girlfriend is topless next to me. I'm watching Secret Girlfriend on Comedy Central and trying to make my life meaningful. Is it working?

This year will be better

I've slacked pretty hard to get this thing started. I promise with this new year that I will be trying to do this blog better. I'm trying to get focused on what exactly this blog will be all about besides the random happenings of my life. So with that, here we go:



This is a picture of my cousin, my stepdad and myself. As you can see, I have a crazy huge beard and it was totally gross/rad. My stepdad has been married to my Mom for 21 years and has been way more of a Dad to me than my real father. I hate his politics and religion, but hates mine as well. The other gent in the photo, my cousin Greg, was released from jail a mere couple of weeks before this picture was taken. He was in jail for almost 12 years. He has spent more time in jail than any other person I've ever met. He sold a bunch of drugs and then was falsely accused of rape. Even though his rape charge was later overthrown he was forced to finsihed his sentence because of Florida's "3 strikes, you're out" law. This picture freaks me out.

I found this picture on my Grandfather's computer. I'm at my grandfather's house right now. I'm really bored and I can't wait to go home. Earlier today I told my family that they hate America and told them to fuck off. It was dramatic.

this is liz mcgrath. she is my favorite artist. I like her dark unique style. Its seems to me what Tim Burton would do if he was a homeless punk girl in LA. You should watch this because it is awesome. I've been a fan of Liz's for a couple of years now. I really enjoy her limited edition low priced items. For a while she was selling one of a kind meat cleavers for like $20 and they came in really cool custom designed boxes. If you have time you check out her website. http://www.elizabethmcgrath.com .


In other news, I tried something I've never done today. I found a listing on craigslist.com for an audition for a student film. So I said fuck it and went for it. I'm pretty sure my audition sucked, but I'm really glad I did it. There is so many things that I've always wanted to try, but never did. Now that I'm out of school though, I've just had this urge to try things that scare me, things that I wouldn't normally do. So I did it. I don't know if I got the part and I really don't care. The fact that I tried is enough for me.
I think the fact that people are affraid to try new things is the reason that our society hasn't progressed beyond the capitalist television culture we've built. Why try when you can watch Anthony Bourdain do it? We, as a society, are just giving up. I know I've given up many times. It's time that we just say "fuck it!"

Fuck it.

I'm gonna try more. You should to. I'm going to try to meditate even though I think it is hippie bullshit. I'm going to poop in the toilet sitting the wrong way. I'm going to walk around the block walking backwards. I'm going to tell my Dad that I think he was a terrible Dad. I'm going to tell a homeless person that I just don't want to give them money. I'm going to cry in front of someone. I'm going to write something really meaningful on a bathroom wall. I'm going to write the IRS and ask them if its cool that I don't pay taxes anymore. I'm gonna try.

hearts,
CS in the Badlands